English Small Talk for Professionals
Globalisation has put professional English communication at the heart of skill development regardless of the industry. As you build your career and profile in international business, you soon realise that you must refine your English business communication skills far beyond vacation chatter. Industry-specific vocabulary, phrases for meetings, and concise email writing are but a few of the areas you must conquer. And when you do, you stumble upon small talk. As a professional, you are expected to make small talk at meetings, conferences, and on many other occasions. It seems small talk is essential to building strong work and business relationships. This post delves into the role and psychology of small talk. It provides tools and tips to help you understand and master it. As you hone your active skills you must also scale your listening skills and cultural awareness to get to grips with English small talk.
A great many people detest making small talk. To begin with, they struggle to find topics and then they also fail to see any value in chit-chatting to business associates or potential clients. Yes, you already know not to talk politics or religion, but do you really want to natter about the weather or share a mildly amusing story about your friends or kids? Probably not.
Nonetheless, deep down, you know there is more to small talk than discomfort and superficialities. In teams, it helps to strengthen bonds and provide breathing space in fast-paced work environments. When clinching deals, small talk helps make the kind of emotional connections that can get an agreement over the line. But the documented benefits do not take away from the reality that small talk is the bane of many a career. Why the struggle?
Why People Can’t Bear Small Talk
If you ask someone what precisely irks them about small talk, they will likely tell you they are no good at making it. Topics elude them and in most situations, words fail them. Many professionals fear appearing stupid or socially inept. On top of that, they find the superficiality annoying and the friendliness fake. They believe if business acquaintances enquire about their well-being, they do not actually want to know the answer and are merely filling silences.
To all intents and purposes, they might be right. People often ask questions without wanting the know the answers but solely to manage an awkward moment. The trouble is, this attitude will not serve you well during your next small talk moments, nor will self-doubt. Instead, you must take a step back and learn about the true role and essence of small talk.
English Small Talk and the Two Levels of Communication
One of the most groundbreaking studies on small talk stems from the 1920s. Bronisław Malinowski explained in his 1923 essay “The Problem of Meaning in Primitive Languages” that much conversation “does not serve any purpose of communicating ideas” but “instead “serves to establish bonds of personal union.”
Thus he points out the two levels of communication, namely information sharing and social bonding. Malinowski attributed little value to small talk, and it took until the 1970s for people to discover it. Sociolinguistic feminists pointed out that the negative attitude toward women’s conversation topics was another example of male dominance. At that time, convention believed only men were having real conversations producing results, whereas women talking about relational topics was deemed meaningless.
Since then, much research has gone into social language and the two communication levels mentioned above. When in conversation, you share information through words while at the same time building a closer relationship with your counterpart.
You can now understand that small talk is not about the semantics, the words you exchange, but about the social interaction, the weaving of closer ties.
Mastering the Art of Small Talk
A great and positive example of vital small talk is the conversation you have with your doctor. Imagine it away and immediately you begin to understand and value the chit-chat.
When you think about it, small talk is the precursor to deep conversations, friendships, and to all other human relationships. What you say only matters if you go beyond convention, meaning small talk is meant to be pretty middle of the road. You don’t have to worry about what you say because small talk isn’t an information exchange. Focus on being comfortable within yourself and let the conversation flow, regardless of how unimaginative it may appear on the surface.
If you google small talk topics and tips suitable for informal settings, everyone tells you to talk hobbies, travel, the weather, local events, sports, entertainment, and similar. When talking to business prospects, you are meant to chat about industry news, career development, and aspects related to the conversation setting.
Find a balance between sharing a little semi-personal information and asking questions without overdoing either. A funny story works but isn’t necessary. Whatever you do, try and be open and friendly without ever forcing a conversation. Don’t worry if you are an introvert. For starters, most people love to talk, and secondly, you are probably a very good listener as a result.
How Active Listening Can Get you Over a Bind
The concept of ‘active listening’ pops up everywhere these days. The idea is to sit back and fully take in what a conversation partner says regardless of what type of discussion you are having. This means listening and refraining from jumping onto the next point you want to make in your head while the other person is talking.
While active listening takes discipline, once mastered it can become your best ally in small talk situations. Delving deep into the conversation stops you from becoming overly self-aware while increasing the natural flow of the conversation.
The next time you dread making small talk, focus on listening and you will likely find yourself speaking freely and fearlessly in response to a point someone made and you fully grasped.
Small talk is about people finding their feet within a blossoming business or personal relationship and laying a foundation for future interaction.