Funny Irish Quotes and Sayings

They say the Irish are the nation of storytellers, and yes, many have the gift of the gab. Sometimes sad, often funny, and always on point, the funny Irish quotes you find here will make you smile at the very least.

The quotes originate in the Irish language, some with equivalents in English and other languages. Other sayings are uniquely Irish providing a flavour of the Irish spirit and history in buckets. The quotes’ glimpse into the traditional way of life in Ireland, people’s ways and people’s thinking is fascinating, highlighting once again the wit and humour Irish people are famous for.

In the Irish language, these quotes are known as seanfhocail (old words).

Let’s look at some of the most succinct Irish quotes like the one above. The English equivalent would be “time will tell” but the Irish language beautifully reimagines time.

This is a gentle way of acknowledging people’s limitations. Animals often dominate funny Irish quotes, like the following two:

You must relate to this phrase, knowing that it is easy to be kind and patient until you are directly involved.

Many famous Irish quotes refer to the importance of the community and mutual support.

And here is a dead-pan observation on life:

Many Irish sayings relate to the virtues of talking or for that matter, the precious value of silence.

• Níor bhris focal maith fiacail riamh. 
  A good word has never broken a tooth.
• Is binn béal ina thost.
  A silent mouth is sweet. 
• Beagán a rá agus é a rá go maith.
  Say little but say it well.
• An áit a mbíonn mná bíonn caint agus an áit a mbíonn géanna bíonn callán.
  Where there are women there is talk, and where there are geese there is cackling.
• Mórán cainte ar bheagán cúise.
  Much talk with little reason.

You hear phrases like ‘he’d talk the hind legs off a donkey’ or ‘talk is cheap’ in everyday language.

Funny Irish Quotes on Marriage

There is no shortage of tongue-in-cheek phrases about marriage. Here are some of the best:

• Ní féasta go rósta, ní céasadh go pósta
  There is no feast without a roast, there is no torture without being married.
• Má tá moladh uait, faigh bás;  má tá cáineadh uait, pós
  If you want praise, die, if you want complaints, marry.
• Má tá tú chun pósadh, pós anuraidh
  If you are going to marry, marry last year.
• Faigheann an tseanbhróg an tseanstoca. 
  The old shoe gets the old stocking. (There is someone for everyone)

Women come in for a fair bit of judgment, here is an example:

• Trí ní is deacair a thuiscint;
  intleacht na mban, obair na mbeach,
  teacht agus imeacht na taoide.
  Three things are hardest to understand;
  the intellect of women, the work of the bees, and
  the coming and going of the tide.
• An áit ina mbíonn toit bíonn tine, san áit ina mbíonn tine bíonn teas, san áit ina mbíonn teas bíonn mná, san áit ina mbíonn mná bíonn gab!
  Where there’s a roof, there’s a fire, where there’s a fire, there’s heat, where there’s heat there are women, where there are women, there’s gossip! 

Here is a compilation of some more great Irish quotes: